beef and whiskey

When I lived in LA in my late twenties, I used to frequent a place called “The Shack” in the little beach town of Playa del Rey (between Marina del Rey and Manhattan Beach). The one thing that has stayed in my noggin from all those years ago was their brazen serving of-get this-right there in the middle of low-fat health zombie mecca central, right then during the middle of the peak of the zenith of  low fat mania-the most unhealthy sandwich you can possibly imagine. It combined two of the worst heart attack provoking evil-doers known to sun worshipping fat fearing Californian pseudo-vegetarian wannabees: Hamburger and Sausage! Egads!

Like, wow, dude, that burger is totally gnarly, man! Like, totally. Fer shure.

I’ve been back to LA a few times in recent years, and each time I’ve been trying to get back to the Shack to see if the famous Shack burger lives up to my memory of it. Which is admittedly very faint. Lots of beer and whiskey and burgers and time between now and the last time I had one, which must be, hmm, lemme see, way back in 1986 or so.

But fate keeps interfering.  I got really close a couple of months ago, with my wife. We parked, walked in, she took one look around the place, and refused to stay.. (it is kinda ramshackle… I tried to sell her on the beach shack charm angle, but she wasn’t buying it.)

There was also the time before that, a couple of years ago, I was supposed to land at LAX in the evening, plenty of time to pop over to the Shack. But my flight got delayed and by the time a friend and I walked in the door, dreams of greasy shack burger sausagey goodness dancing in my head, we were informed that the kitchen had just closed.

Damn.

And I am still peeved about the time in 1989, just after finishing a biathlon (running/biking/running-yeah, I used to do that kinda crazy shit…) that finished practically right in front of the place, I thought the perfect post race meal would be a shack burger or two washed down with ridiculous amounts of beer. But my idiot friends felt differently. I think we wound up at a Pizza Hut. A god*(&mned Pizza Hut.

I will get back to the Shack one of these days. Oh. Yes I. Will. On my next trip to LA, I’m gonna ditch whoever I am with, and get my ass to the bar, order up some beer and a shack burger, and finally settle this for once and for all.

But since I live 3000 miles away, I decided to make do for now by making my own shack burger. I dropped a burger into the Sous Vide Supreme for a few hours at about 120 degrees, then I seared the top and bottom, then I added some hot italian sausages cooked in my Breville indoor grill, which does a nice job of flattening the sausage. And this time, I kept it truly low carb and grain free by using a homemade “bun”, known as the “ooopsie roll.” It’s made with eggs and cream cheese, you can find the recipe here.

Oh yeah, I added cheese and mayo and mustard. And a fried egg (of course!) Damn fine burger. Probly better than the real thing.

Ok, I hope this is my last post featuring the use of pork products in unconventional ways. But it probably isn’t.

One of the things I do miss from my pre-low carb days is french fries.

Whilst preparing a burger at home the other day, I spied a single hot italian sausage in the fridge, all by itself and lonely. And inspiration hit! Well, maybe not exacty inspiration, but…

Anyway, with no further adieu, I give you….

PIG FRIES!

“Eat food. All you want. Mostly meat.”

-Michael Eades, on twitter, making fun of you know who.

I like vegetables as much as anyone I suppose. I try to stick mostly to the low starch low sugar ones, of course. My mainstays are mushrooms, eggplant, squash, spinach, broccoli, green beans, asparagus, tomatoes, etc. The usual suspects. Usually take them slathered in butter. I mean, who would eat this stuff if it weren’t for butter? And salt too. And pepper. And garlic. And sometimes basil. Nutmeg. Thyme. You get the picture.

But I also can just do without the damn vegetable. Like tonight, I’m probably gonna be on my own for dinner, and I’m not sure if I can be bothered to scare up some sort of plant matter to go with my steak (sous-vide flank steak, btw).

But I might have some sausage with that steak. Yessiree.

I know, I know, everyone thinks you need vegetables, you need those magical phytonutrients, blah blah blah. You need fiber, blah blah blah (I dont buy the fiber argument, but that’s probably a subject for another day).

Personally, I think maybe there’s some stuff in some vegetables that are good for you, but that’s not why I eat them. I eat them simply because I like them. Spinach goes nice with steak. So do mushrooms. Asparagus goes great with fish. And steak. Especially when coated in olive oil, salt and pepper, wrapped with bacon, and grilled.

For me then, the true role for the vegetables on your plate, and more importanty, in your mouth, is to provide a flavor and texture that compliments and contrasts nicely with the whatever meat/fish your enjoying.

Armed with this definition, I hereby declare that sausage is indeed a vegetable! It may not grow on trees or in the dirt, it may actually just be a mix of pork and spices in some sort of suspicious casing, but I’ll never hold that against it.

It’s a vegetable dammit!

I will not be persuaded otherwise!

My favorite cold cereal growing up was always Cheerios. I loved them. I ate them on a regular basis well into my forties, actually. I loved them even more with sliced banana on top. Talk about a high carb nightmare, jeeeezzz. Probably over a hundred grams right there.

In the spirit of that Top Chef show that my wife makes me watch, where they are always deconstructing and re-imagining traditional dishes, I give you Porkios!

In place of the cheerios: Leftover pork sauted in bacon fat along with some jalapenos, onions, mushrooms, etc. -

In place of the milk: Sour Cream!

In place of the bananas: Cheese!

Now that is a hardy damn bowl of cereal!

Whatever her successes or failings as a politician, she did (does?) know how to go about feeding herself, didn’t she?

According to her own web site, she apparently favored a low carb diet, and enjoyed her whiskey! My kinda gal, I tell ya! She’s in her 80’s now and still going strong, take that you Ornishes and Fuhrmans of the world!

Here’s she is, found wandering aimlessly yet happily amoungst some heavy machinery:

And here’s young Maggie during her wild years: